


A Beginners Guide to Destroying Planet Earth

by Rotten_strawberries, TheGayGale



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Destroya - Freeform, Everyone is angry, M/M, Other, RP, ZaDr, dib/zim - Freeform, dim - Freeform, don't read it, gaylien, im not that sorry, its v angry, ok im sorry mom, pls, this ff sux, zib, zim/dib - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-10 22:06:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7010089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rotten_strawberries/pseuds/Rotten_strawberries, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGayGale/pseuds/TheGayGale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hallucinations. Everybody thought they were hallucinations. But as Dib would come to find out, they were not. <br/>For four years, Dib had been dubbed as a lunatic because no one seemed to remember the Alien that had been trying to cause havoc when he was thirteen.<br/>(In which Invader Zim takes place in Manhattan)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Manhattan's Brightest Day

**Author's Note:**

> I know that it is freezing, but I think we have to walk  
> I keep waving at the taxis, they keep turning their lights off  
> But Julie knows a party at some actor's West side loft  
> Supplies are endless in the evening by the morning they'll be gone  
> When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend  
> I'll get a coffee and the paper, have my own conversations  
> With the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection  
> The mask I polish in the evening by the morning looks like shit  
> -Bright Eyes

It was a Friday. Not just any Friday though. The usual grotesque morning, had a rather different effect today. Today was nostalgic, it held a melancholy effect of remembrance. Today marked the day of Dib’s last therapy session. Nearly four years ago, when he was thirteen, Dib had been diagnosed with Childhood-onset Schizophrenia. He still didn’t believe that he had it. It was all because of an alien he used to see, that one day disappeared and no one remembered for some reason. Though, he was still convinced he did exist, somewhere in his mind, he had to lie to everyone to make things better. After all no one seemed to remember Zim. Perhaps it was time for Dib to let it go, just like his therapist suggested. Talking things through had helped quite a bit, his father, being a scientist and all, decided that he should be put on medication. After taking the pills for so long, he just began to throw them away. He knew it was a waste of money, but he didn’t feel like he needed them, for two reasons. One, they made him sick. Two, there was no difference aside from feeling better when he didn’t take them. He would announce to his dad that he didn’t need them anymore after his last therapy session took place.

Zim’s life was different. It was weird being back in the outskirts of Manhattan, the city was dirty and the cold winter winds would bite and nip at the bare skin. He had been gone for four years. More trash littered the ground now, wet and soaked because it was mixed in with snow that had fallen, but turned into mush with all the shoes had been walking on top of it. LA wasn’t much better, but at least it was warm there, it wasn’t freezing. Why Zim had decided to come back in the middle of winter he didn’t know. He probably could’ve gone until at least spring without his main base. However, he was going to start up his plan to take over the world again, because it had been too long without action.

When Zim was 13 in what was called “earth years”, according to the class he was in, in Skool. He left to go somewhere else. He needed to explore the world a little bit more to know what he was dealing with. 

Before leaving, he wiped everyone's memory of him. They didn’t need to know he used to be there, well, he wiped everyone’s memory besides Dib’s. Dib had given him so much hell throughout the years; he deserved to be the only one with memory of him. He hoped everyone thought he was crazier than before, that was the point after all. Going off about some “Alien” That used to live there, when nobody remembers him, was going to make people think he was more messed up than he actually was  
.   
Exploring the earth was fun, Zim never stayed anywhere for long, it was annoying having to set up a base every few weeks, so he ended up in a state called California and made that his home for four years. His base was tiny, and not as large as the old one, though it worked for what he needed. He spent the years examining humans more and what they did wore, ate, how they talked. He tried to make things so he was more believable of a human. His disguise hadn’t improved too much, it worked enough that people didn’t think he had a weird skin condition. His skin was more pale than green now. His contacts were still the same shade of gray and he had a better wig that didn’t shine, look like pure plastic and fall apart or get tangled on him when he tried to style it. It was nice looking, more natural, not always slicked back and it didn’t look gross and greasy with gel. It was more soft. He had changed the pink clothes he wore on a daily basis for more “Human” Looking clothes. He preferred jeans and loose fitting t-shirts, though, being back in Manhattan during the winter, he realized his mistake not buying a jacket or any long sleeves before. It was freezing outside and the snow was picking up again. 

After an unusually long therapy session, Dib headed to the library, stopping at the door to pay to renew his library card. Tomorrow he had a big test, one he had been thinking about all year. It was an advanced Physics test. He was naturally good at remembering concepts when it came to science, he always studied incase there was something he might not remember. Usually he had more planning when it came to tests like these, except with all the other things going on his life he had hardly any time to study. Now he would have to cram in what he didn’t know. He went on a mini scavenger hunt for all the books he would need to cover the material. Once he had a stack of them in his arms he headed back to the table, scattered them about and opened them. It wasn’t a big deal to take up the whole table with them because there were many other tables that were open. It wasn’t like the Librarian to get mad about that sort of thing. Since she encouraged reading and studying. 

Not being able to stand the cold anymore, Zim rushed into the closest building he saw. Once stepping inside and letting the warm air brush over his Irken skin, he recognized it to be a library. That’s what he thought because of all the books. He supposed he could entertain himself here until the snow had calmed down. After all, he was starting school again in the next week, it wouldn’t hurt to catch up on some human concepts.

Zim set out and walked through the aisles of bookshelves. He found a few random books having to do with the English language and history of planet earth since he hadn’t touched up on those topics in a long time. Looking around at the tables, he saw a human sitting at one of the table and decided to join him. ‘Weren’t humans supposed to sit together? Didn’t that cause friendships?’ Thinking that’s what you were supposed to do, Zim walked over to the table and set his few books in the tiny empty space that was left on the table. He picked up the top book and started to read quietly

Dib completely lost track of time, he didn’t check the time again until two hours had passed. He was starting to feel prepared for the test when he saw a figure take the seat across from him. He cleared his throat hoping the person would take initiative and see that this table was being used and take their leave. He found whoever it was to be very distracting, after all, there were so many other tables to sit at. Why choose this one? The one that Dib had all his books scattered on.

When the person didn’t move, he looked up from one of the passages he had been reading about Quantum Mechanics. 

“Excuse me, you’re being incredibly distracting...” He trailed off as his eyebrows drew together. He recognized this person. He couldn’t recall from where though. 

A male... had pale green skin, grey eyes and black slicked hair. If he wouldn’t have known any better he would have said it was Zim. But that was impossible. Right? Right??? Wrong! This person he knew to be Zim!

Dib stood up and knocked his chair over. “Zim?!” He exclaimed feeling a rush of adrenaline. Perhaps he should have taken his medication that morning. He closed his eyes and opened them again. “Where did you come from?”

Zim was peacefully reading and learning a few things. Until the human across from him decided to make a scene in this tiny library. He finished the page even when the human was yelling at him before looking up. Zim knew who it was immediately. Dib human. He had grown taller, he still had those huge glasses and his scythe-like hair had grown even longer. Zim raised an eyebrow and set his book down before saying anything. 

“Oh, Dib human, I didn’t expect we would meet this quickly. I was thinking it would at least be a week or two since I have been back, not in the first three days,” He laughed a little bit. Time and place could be a funny thing. Even though he didn’t really want to run into Dib, it was better to face it sooner than later.

Living in Manhattan, this hardly compared to the weirdest thing he had seen, or rather experienced. Though, a lot of those things had happened when he was younger. In fact most of them had happened when Zim was around. The time his class pet grew really big or even the time that all the kids in his school began getting sick, only to find that their organs had been replaced with miscellaneous objects. He had become a detective, always looking for ways to prove Zim was guilty, that he was out to destroy the earth. With most of the strange things that happened in the outskirts, he could never prove that he was behind them. Especially after he just disappeared one day.

The moment felt more like Deja Vu. Even though he knew he hadn’t experienced this exact moment, yet. Something about seeing Zim again triggered emotions. A sort of resentment, not only towards Zim, but also his father. It was like all those years of therapy and the few times he had taken his pill were all a waste. As it turned out, the doctors, his father and even his sister had turned him into even more of a skeptic. While he did believe that Zim was real, he just wasn’t sure if this was actually Zim or his first so called hallucination. It made things far more difficult to wrap his head around. To figure it out he decided to pretend that he was real. He looked around for evidence, everyone seemed to be looking at him, but they were also looking at Zim. The librarian had a finger to her lips. She had never been known to be a strict lady. From then on he kept his voice low and discreet.

“What do you mean you didn’t expect to see me so soon?” He murmured, just loud enough for Zim to hear him, he picked up his chair from the floor and sat in it. “That makes it sound like you just came back from a long trip.” He stared at the alien in front of him, hardly giving him time to respond. Then he tried to read him the best he could, only it was like a foreign language. He had no idea what his expression meant, it just seemed far away. His efforts were futile.

“You’re so casual for an alien who completely ruined my life,” His expression remained bitter with a hint of exasperation. In reality, he was tired of dealing with things he knew he couldn’t handle. 

As he spoke, the library began to fill with people and they moved around him, they were all pieces on a chessboard. If he was a part of it too, he was a pawn. A pawn in this stupid, short alien’s game. He could feel the gaze of said people as he spoke. He was sure he seemed insane, but at least he wasn’t yelling like before. Dib had moved on, mostly. A large amount of his efforts had been a waste of time. But for the most part, before today, he had felt completely sane! 

“Maybe it’s that you don’t care,” He murmured, again, he wouldn’t give him the time to respond, not until he was done at least. “I mean, why would you? You look at us humans like were filthy anyway, which just so happens to be the way I look at you… The way I looked at Tak.”

While part of him wanted to believe that this was just a hallucination, the other part of him needed it not to be. He needed to believe that they were both real. That way he could prove to everyone he never had schizophrenia. After all those years. This was his big chance to turn his life around. All those friends he never made, all those opportunities he lost… Though, if these weren’t his thoughts, it could be argued that his life was going fine. Straight A student with a scholarship to an expensive college after High school. In that moment none of that mattered, he needed a chance to make up for all the lost time. FEELING ABSOLUTELY RESENTFUL, Dib had to continue this conversation. He had to be an investigator, a detective to the supernatural. He owed himself that.

Zim listened as Dib shouted off a bunch of questions, even though they were supposed to be quiet in the library it sounded like Dib was shouting. He calmly had his arms crossed and listened even though he wanted to interrupt. Zim had changed quite a lot in the past years. He used to jump at every accusation and try to defend himself with the stupidest excuses even when he knew nothing about human earth, now he would try to contain himself, the less attention he brought to himself the better it would be to grab the slimy earth out under from all the filthy humans. He nodded every so often showing that he was listening to Dib, but his gaze kept looking around the library as he saw people file in. People were disgusting.

Perhaps Zim coming into the library was a bad idea after all, it would’ve been a better idea to just trudge through the wet snow and make his way home. How long had he even been there? Gir was home alone right now. That was never a good thing, the things that robot could get into could really set back his mission. Zim had programmed Gir to make him more intelligent, though it really didn’t help much. At least Gir wasn’t as sporadic as he used to be, he still had his quirks and sometimes leaving him alone for long periods of time resulted in some interesting things to come home to. It just goes to show there are some things with Gir you can’t change or get rid of; at least he was easier to work with this way. Still, the thought of him being home alone in this snow storm was not leaving Zim at ease. 

All these random thoughts flew through his head as Zim listened to Dib, things hadn’t changed too much, he still tuned out most of what Dib said when he was talking. Though he heard Dib’s voice quiet down and instead the low murmur of the library fill his antennae. They were talking about him and Dib; they had made a small scene right now. Honestly, it probably looked more like a human couple fighting more than enemies meeting after four years. Let Human’s think what foolish humans want to, it really didn’t bother Zim. Now it was his turn to talk, he had no more time to think things through. 

“That’s the thing….Dib,” He stated, using only Dib’s name and not putting human before or after it. “I did just return from a long trip. You see I have been exploring planet earth, trying to find….what would you say…all of it’s….weak spots. After four years of investigation, I have gathered quite enough research and I am ready to drive this filthy planet into the hands of the Irkens. Oh the Tallest will be so proud of me when they find out I have taken over earth for them.” He stopped for a moment, smiling like an idiot at the thought of The Tallest admiring his hard work. He almost forgot what he was talking about and the conversation they were having for a moment. 

“No, you filthy alien, don’t you realize that your ‘tallest’ have given up on you? Have they ever actually tried to contact you, or has it only been you sending in those stupid messages?” When Dib spoke again his voice had become low growl.

“I may be only giving The Tallest my reports, but they’re very busy Irkens. You see Dib…human, they overlook an entire planet. They keep track of everything. We are invading species, hence, Invader Zim.” He smirked to himself for his clever wording. “We invade lots of planets and overlook many things. The Tallest need to make sure we’re all invading correctly, taking over what we need to and everything is going to plan. They are very busy Irkens; you need to set up appointments to even talk to them. They do care in fact.” 

Zim soon snapped back to finish the rest of Dib’s questions. “As for ruining your life, I didn’t do that. You ruined your own life Dib. I thought this would teach you a lesson not to mess with me and going around shouting there was an alien around. Nobody ever listened to you Dib, why did you keep trying? You kept trying and this is what happened, I’m sure everyone thought you were crazy when their memories were erased.” He smirked slightly with a little shrug. “And you’re right, you’re nothing but a filthy human creature to me, along with everyone else on this planet and I can’t wait to wipe the human race off of it and bring it to The Tallest. You humans, oddly, have some nice technology that might be of use.” He laughed a little bit and sat back in his seat, watching the expression on Dib’s face change from anger to livid. 

Dib began to wish he hadn’t decided on coming to the library after his last session. His jaw clenched as he tried to remain calm enough to respond without completely cussing Zim out. That was another thing, he was angrier than when he was younger. However, to him it was justified, that’s what happens when you went through years of unnecessary therapy and pills. Only to round a corner of your life and find that none of that was needed. Zim was actually a sociopath and didn’t give a shit about anyone else.

 

“My only regret is not showing everyone who you were when I had the chance or better yet, finding a way to kill you,” The word furious didn’t even begin to cover how Dib felt about the situation. “I can’t believe you erased their memory, I knew something was off! All those years of trying to make them see! Make them remember!” Dib was infuriated. He probably couldn’t even comprehend what he had put Dib through, or worse, he did and didn’t care.

Zim raised an eyebrow as Dib began to speak again, he had expected him to rant. He noticed his voice was a little bit louder again. He made a mental note on how it was easier to anger the human now. He wondered what had happened in the years he had been gone. He wondered what awful things had happened to Dib to make him into the messed up boy he was now. Zim couldn’t really bring himself to care too much about Dib himself, he was just interested in the ways humans worked. It was fascinating how humans went to such great lengths to make another human “normal”. How they would shove humans out of society for not acting how everyone else did, for not dressing how they did. Earth worked in a interesting way, Zim supposed this is what happened when everybody looked different and you didn’t have two main rulers overlooking the earth. That’s why Zim was here, he was here to bring order to this chaotic planet. 

“You always tried Dib, and it seems things haven’t changed. You’ve tried so hard to expose me and it never worked out, has it? Why are you going to try now? It won’t work Dib, I am smarter than you, I have access to technology you could only dream of. After all these years and what you’ve been put through, you’re still back to your old ways. Give up Dib; enjoy your life while you can because it’ll be over soon enough. Don’t waste it on worrying me; I don’t need useless things getting in my way” He paused. Dib could see the gears moving in his head. ”Try to step in my way to ruin this earth again Dib and you’ll have the same thing happen, I now know how to ruin your life and know how to get what I want.” Zim stood up, preparing to return his books and leave the library. 

Dib tackled Zim when he realized he couldn’t call the shots anymore, there was nothing to stop him from doing so. All those years of misunderstandings, of people calling him a freak, insane or a luny! 

Zim was smirking proudly, thinking too much of himself as usual until he felt a body collide with his. He was surprised Dib would try a fight in a place like this, but then again, Zim didn’t really know if he was all that surprised.

Once Dib had him pinned down his fist collided several times with his pale alien flesh. Dib wasn’t the strongest. He didn’t really go out much anymore and he didn’t play sports, but his knuckles were as bony as could be. He punched him enough times to show that his blood was a clearish pink color. He wanted vengeance. But not now. People were beginning to crowd him, he needed to get lost before he was banned from the library.

 

With every punch that collided with his face he could feel the fury of Dib in his flesh. He could feel the wig slipping off slightly and his skin start to bruise. He also felt liquid drip down his body telling him that he was bleeding. The clear, pink, liquid stained his faded white t shirt with some random print on it. He barely paid attention to what was going on around him anymore, just rolling with the punches, quite literally. He didn’t try to fight against Dib, Dib probably had many emotions that he had to get out and in a way Zim guessed he could respect that. But always letting Dib get the upper hand wouldn’t last for long. It would indeed end after this fight, Zim was ready to fight hard and play dirty, he was ready to get back to how things used to be. He wished he would’ve at least had a little while more to prepare, but he was still ready. 

“I may have more regrets than you Zim, but mark my words when I say I will make you regret choosing Earth…,” He pressed his arm against his neck before he moved himself off of Zim and ran out of the library. He nearly barreled into a small dog that was walking on his back legs as he ran. Soon he was out of the building and also out of breath. He jumped for a nearby bush and hid there.

Zim snapped back to attention when he heard Dib say something. He just rolled his eyes at whatever he had to say. When he finally finished talking, Zim didn’t say anything. He just smirked and spat what blood had collected in his mouth in Dib’s face, soon after Dib was running out of the library, almost running into Gir. 

Gir came dashing down the library hallway. He was in dog form but sometime forgot to walk on all four legs. Once into the main library he jumped onto Zim. 

“Zimmmmm! I thought you were dead!” He giggled joyously. The humans backed away when the dog came in, not sure if it was friendly or not.

Gir? How did he get here? Zims home was blocks away; he had to be somewhat intelligent if he could find him. Zim looked at Gir and stood up on wobbly legs, using the green robot in front of him to steady himself. 

“No Gir, I’m not dead. It’s time to go home, let’s go,” He sighed, trying to regain his posture and walk out of the building with the green dog. 

-  
Later that evening Dib made his way home, covered from head to toe in leaves and twigs, no one ever came looking for him. He walked through Zim’s old neighborhood. Sure enough, right where his old house used to be, was a new refurbished one. He could tell it was his. This lot was empty for a long time and the house looked like Zim’s style. He would have to come back here later, when he was calm.

Zim walked along the streets, the snow had died down at least that was a good thing. He quickly made it to his house and stepped inside. The outside was still out of place from all the houses surrounding it, but the inside was much more regular than it had been before. It wasn’t dirty or looked old and gross, it was actually quite clean. The furniture matched, he went with purples, pinks and blacks as his theme. The walls were a deep purple and the floors were a shiny black tile. He had pink and black furniture with other random things to compliment the place. His base was still underground, but his bathroom, kitchen, and bedroom were only one floor and his upstairs lead up to another workstation if he ever needed to work with something roof related. 

When Zim walked into his house he set his keys on the table by the door and took off his wig, walking back to his room, down the hall. He walked into a pitch black room and turned on the light, filling the room with a dim pink light. He stripped off his clothes and threw them in the trash can rather than a dirty hamper since they were stained anyways. They were old enough that he couldn’t care about trying to get any stains out of them anymore. Instead he slipped out of his disguise and into his regular clothes. He grabbed some random human book off his bookshelf sitting back on his black silk covers. He hardly used his bed, it was more to try trick humans into thinking he was also a human. Even though Irken’s didn’t need to sleep, somehow, he felt himself drifting off while reading a boring book. Before he knew it, he was out like a light for the next few hours.


	2. Do you ever feel™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib could be a shitty hipster poet. (just sayin')

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've got nothing to lose  
> You better run and hide  
> Yeah you've crossed the line  
> I've got a knife behind my back (just sayin')  
> We've got nothing to prove  
> Your social guides give you swollen eyes  
> But what I've got can't be bought so you can just 
> 
> Call it what you want  
> \- Foster the people

When Dib awoke, rain pattered against the window in his room. He pulled his green beaker patterned comforter up further so it was over his face, then he decided it wouldn’t be a good idea to waste time in bed. After he dressed and headed downstairs, he noticed that the clouds were rolling in. Dark grey mist lead down, nearly grazing the landscape view from his kitchen window. Today was already a bad day. It was more of a feeling than a fact. Yet he knew it to be true.

Zim’s home was filled with the sound of rain falling on the rooftop and the noise coming from the TV in the living room. Gir was always watching TV when he wasn't up to something else. Gir usually did things in the morning, like take a walk through the neighborhood like a stray dog, or make waffles. Today, since the rain was coming down he was inside resting on his stomach in his dog costume, watching whatever awful human program happened to be on at the moment. His small legs were kicking against the black tile as he hummed, making it almost seem like he wasn't even watching the show. 

The alien walked out of his room, looking at the clock to see how much time he had before he had to leave for Skool. He had changed into his disguise already, wearing a thin long sleeve shirt because that was one of the warmest things he had and some simple jeans. He slipped on his boots before walking into the kitchen. Irken's were allergic to a lot of human foods, but Zim found that most foods that were rich in sugars didn't harm him. That’s why his Kitchen was filled with sweet sugary treats and lots of soda. He at least needed some food to make it look more like a human household.

Zim walked to the kitchen and grabbed a soda from the fridge as well as a bag of chips from the pantry. He sat at the table and continued to read a book that he had recently gotten into. Zim hated rain, it was his enemy, oddly enough though the sound of it wasn't all that bad. Midway through eating, Gir had come in to make himself some waffles, Zim ignored him, finished his food and walked out of the kitchen. 

"I'm going to Skool, Gir. Don't burn the house down while I'm gone," Zim sighed, not waiting for a response because he had no time to waste. He quickly grabbed his bag and an umbrella before walking out the door and down to the bus stop. 

Dib’s breakfast was healthier… Usually. He quickly ate what was left of the breakfast, which in turn meant, what Gaz made and didn’t feel like eating. He grabbed his bag and headed out the front door, walking to the bus stop. He watched a plastic takeout bag float through the air, it had a faded label on it. Bloaty’s Pizza Hog. Feeling as though it was a metaphor to his life. Always drifting along, with no permanent purpose or place. He could be a shitty hipster poet. He was the only senior in Skool he knew that still had to catch the bus, but when you lived in a city like Manhattan, even on the outskirts, there really wasn’t a purpose in having a car of your own. His sister, Gaz, thought otherwise. She drove their dad’s old car to school every day. He could have gotten rides with her, but it didn’t seem worth it to him. He’d take the smelly bus over the old family car anyday. He was a block down from the bus stop when it pulled over to the side to let people on. He realized he would miss it and didn’t bother running after it. He had made a fool of himself many times doing that. Then, it began to rain above him.

Zim mostly ran through the rain and to the bus stop, even though he had an umbrella he still didn't want to risk getting touched by the rain. He barely caught the bus, after that it was a short ride to school, and a short walk trying to find his first classroom. It was different from the other high school he had been in, but after the years he was fairly familiar with the layouts of it all. His first class of the day was art. He didn't really enjoy art all that much, he didn't understand it, but he needed the last credit. After all, the only reason he was here was because he needed to graduate. As much as school was tedious and boring, it was useful for knowing more about the human race and how to take it over, as well as it added to the facade that he was a human boy. 

Zim walked into the classroom and took his seat. He leaned back into his chair and waited for a few minutes as he watched all the other kids file in. He wasn't paying much attention until he saw a guy sitting across from him. Of course that guy had to be Dib. Why did this keep happening? They were just always bound to run into one another whether they liked it or not. It was annoying, Zim couldn't busy himself with useless fights anymore with the ugly human boy, he had better things to do that didn't involve him. When Dib sat down he didn't say anything, just looked at him for a few seconds before looking back down at the table and waited for the teacher to start the class so the day could get started and end quickly. 

Since Dib had already been having a bad day, he knew something would add to it. When he walked into the dark teal classroom, completely soaked from the morning drizzle, he noticed Zim was in the seat across from him. Great. He rolled his eyes and took his seat, pulling out his sketchbook and a pencil. Why was Zim taking art anyway? Why did he even have an interest in that? His favorite class had been invaded by his least favorite person. Alien. Whatever. His favorite class, unlike what most people would assume to be science, was actually an art class. A lot of people in his family thought it was weird, because while he didn’t plan to do anything art related when he grew up, he was good at art. Good enough to win several awards.

Dib would remain calm today, he would not lose his temper today. He would not lose it ever again around Zim. After a little soul searching last night he decided he wouldn’t have any weak spots when it came to Zim and he wouldn’t let his guard down either. At the start of every class they would do warm up sketches. Sometimes it was a picture on the projector, a printed one or a partner practice. Today it just so happened to be a partner practice. The teacher’s instructions were to take turns drawing the person across from you. He would have to draw Zim and Zim would have to draw him. 

“Look, Zim, I realize that yesterday we got off on the wrong foot,” He spoke steadily, maybe he wasn’t the best liar, but he was determined to get close to Zim and seem like he was no longer an enemy. “I hope you forgive me, I hadn’t taken my medication,” He managed as he sketched out Zim’s face shape. Though he hadn’t taken his pills in at least a year, he wanted his excuse to seem legit. He was planning to outsmart the alien afterall.

Zim looked up at him when he started to talk. He listened a little bit with a straight face as he watched Dib's hand move to draw him as he talked. He didn't know how he would draw Dib, he couldn't even stand looking at his awful face for that long. He began to zone out again. Then he heard Dib's voice stop, he took it as his turn to talk. 

"Fine Dib, I guess I can forgive your forgetfulness to take take your human medication this time. But I take this as you will not try to get in my way anymore, yes? If so, then I guess I can excuse you're foolishness this one ti-" He immediately stopped talking when the teacher set her hand on his shoulder. He almost jumped out of his skin from the sudden contact of a human touching him. 

“Make sure you draw him too, when he’s done” She stated resting her hand on his shoulder for a minute. Dib watched him flinch slightly before she walked away. 

Dib finished his sketch quickly and then looked at Zim. “Okay, go ahead,” He paused, choosing his words carefully, he didn’t want to provoke him. “Draw me, now,” He wondered what sort of shit stain sketch Zim could come up with. He doubted that Zim actually had any art skill of his own, unless he was somehow naturally good at things like this. 

After she finished talking and Dib told him to draw him he just nodded, not really going to pick up on the topic that he was talking about before since he was so rudely interrupted. He just looked down at his paper and picked up his pencil, starting to doodle rough shapes that somehow related to Dib's face. Zim got frustrated quickly and just set down his pencil with a very rough and pretty bad picture of Dib. He couldn't bring himself to care though, all he needed was to pass this damn class.

“Alright class, swap papers with each other, I would like it if each of you saw the sketch done of you,” The teacher stood at the front of the class with her arms folded. She was a kind women. Much better than Dib’s most remembered teacher, Mrs.Bitters.

Dib slid his sketchbook across to Zim so he could check out the drawing Dib had done of him. Zim's eyes focused on the drawing in front of him. Why was Dib human’s art so much better than his? That was one factor that kept Zim at high frustration levels, also the fact that he didn’t look like a human in the sketch. He looked more like an alien than his human disguise put out. He wondered if that was Dib’s intention. He kept his eyes narrowed as he examined the drawing, trying not to let his anger show or get out of control. He and Dib did just agree to be on good terms. After Dib showed him his sketch, he extended one of his hands out to him for the sketch Zim had done.

Zim scowled at his drawing of Dib in front of him. It didn't look anything like him, and it looked really bad. Of course he didn't care about art, or art class, but the fact that he wasn't good at something made him frustrated. He didn't like the drawing and was contemplating shoving it in his bag, well until the teacher started to talk. He sighed and handed Dib his note book because the teacher told him to. Once Dib got a hold of it he had a really hard time trying not to laugh. It was so misshapen and hardly looked like him at all. 

In the meantime the teacher had been walking around the classroom to see what her students had accomplished. 

“Why did you make Zim look like an alien?” The teacher asked when she got to Dib. She picked up his sketchbook and looked at the drawing for a few moments. 

Dib felt like smacking his face on the table, since Zim was an alien, but he didn’t. “I just thought it was the best way to draw him, I tried to make it look like him,” He said as nonchalantly as he could. This was the first person to somewhat realize who Zim was. Perhaps this was something he could expand on, using his art to change everyone’s mindset on Zim!

Zim felt a sudden urge to fight and yell at the teacher about how he didn't look like an alien, and was not an alien. With a lot of self control he ended up sitting still in his seat with a calm look on his face. Zim had taught himself to wait out the situation before trying to defend himself because a lot of the time people passed it off as nothing and the yelling would only make him look more suspicious than the drawing did. 

She moved on, while Dib did not, only pausing again to take an extra moment to look at Zim’s drawing of Dib. The teacher moved on quickly enough and Zim was left to look at the drawing the Dib did of him once again.

Dib was pulled away from his thoughts when she addressed him. “Dib, Zim, I would like both of you to stay after class,” She walked back to her desk and slid back into her chair, giving the students the rest of the class to use as studio time. For Dib the class went by rather slowly, because he was anxiously awaiting what the teacher had to say to him. He managed to sketch a few things… Nothing really good though. He couldn’t draw when he was distracted like that.

Once they were given time to do their own things, Zim easily managed to be productive, unlike Dib. While he had heard the teacher talk, saying that she wanted to see them, he didn't think much of it. He was in his own world then and even though he should've been panicking that a teacher wanted to see him, he let it slide. He flipped to another random page in his sketchbook and started to draw and plan what would be helpful for ruining the planet. Mostly it was just blueprints and random notes on the page, but at least they were in his own language. It looked more like abstract art than world destruction plans. 

 

Then the bell rang and he made his way to the back of her class.”So, What did you have to say to me?” She looked up from her computer at him when he spoke. At the end of class Zim took his sweet time packing his things into his bag. He saw Dib quickly stand up and make his way to the teacher. He let them start the conversation without him. After all, the less time he had to be there the better. 

“I want you to help Zim out with his art, you are one of the most advanced students and he came half way through the year,” She paused as Zim joined them.

“Zim, I’m going to have Dib help you develop your concentration, I think it would be a very great thing, for both of you,”

Develop my concentra-what?" He asked, not understanding what was going on. "I don't think you understand, I don't need Dib's help, I am fine developing whatever on my own." He used his hand and waved it to show that he was dismissing whatever the teacher wanted them to do because he obviously did not want to do that. Why would he spend more time with Dib human? It seemed like he couldn't escape these situations, it made him wish he just graduated at his old School and not come back til the summer. Maybe things would've been easier that way.

“Why do I have to do that? He probably isn’t even serious about anything he creates,” Dib replied pretty quickly for someone who was trying to remain neutral and calm. He looked at Zim and then back to her, waiting for him to chime in on the issue, surely he didn’t want to work with a human, just as Dib didn’t want to work with either of them. 

The teacher ignored them and moved on. “You two could make friends out of this, you could go to each other’s house and have extra time to work on art, now run along, or you’re both going to miss lunch,”

Dib who previously wanted to argue when it came to helping Zim out, decided that it might be a good idea to dig something up on him. He was sure he would be able to find some inside information if he were to get closer to him. Through his art wasn’t too bad of an idea, he would have to find a way to thank her for the idea later. For now, he was going to pretend that they could actually be friends after everything that happened.

Zim wanted to argue, but it was time to leave. The teacher seemed pretty set on this whole ordeal and two students wouldn't change her mind. Maybe this would be a good thing. He could find more ways to get under Dib's skin, this was also a way to help him seem more human. As much as he hated Dib, he was a human, and he was useful in the most awful ways. So he just nodded and sighed, starting to walk out of the class alongside Dib. It was still raining outside, so sitting out there wouldn't be a choice, instead Zim slowly walked to the cafeteria, enjoying the empty hall ways, well aside from the filthy human next to him, the longer he could avoid the cafeteria the better.

“What’s wrong Zim? Don’t you like the rain?” When they walked out of the classroom, Dib couldn’t help but noticed how Zim looked at the rain outside. He knew the alien couldn’t touch water, he also knew that he found the cafeteria repulsive. Since they were supposed to work together, until Zim had his concentration together Dib would stick with him, he was also going to attempt to get as much information off of him as he could. “How about I stop by your place after school, I can start helping you develop your concentration, just as the art teacher suggested,” 

Zim looked up at Dib and rolled his eyes as they continued to walk down the hallway. He hated the human, he didn't want to be around him any longer, but he wouldn't leave! He mostly just tried to block Dib out until he started to talk about something not rain related. 

"I don't even know what you're helping me on! It just a whole bunch of useless nothing," He sighed, stopping right before the door that lead them into the cafeteria. "Fine, you can come over I guess. See you after school Dib," He said walking into the cafeteria.

After school Dib made his way to Zim’s house. It wasn’t too far of a walk from the school, long enough to see why someone would want to ride the bus though. Zim lived in the same place that he had when he was younger, Dib knew exactly where it was. Only a few things were different, exterior wise. There weren’t any eerie yard gnomes anymore. The house windows weren’t jagged, they were actual squares, the arguably teal paint had been replaced with a nicer turquoise color and the “I <3 Earth” flag had been replaced with an American flag. ‘Clever,’ Dib thought as he made his way up one step to the porch. He brought his fist up and knocked.

Zim got up from the couch, since he had been expecting Dib for awhile, he just decided to wait upstairs and not go down to work on other things of more importance. Instead, he set out his art supplies on the table and stayed on the couch just listening to whatever cartoon Gir was watching. Zim opened the door and stood to the side letting Dib in. 

"Welcome to my lovely human home. I hope you know you'll find nothing out of the ordinary here, so if that's why you're here Dib you're just wasting your time."

Dib walked into the house. "I am only here to help you with your art," Which was wildly untrue. He planned to look for evidence, clues! Everything that made him the investigator he was. Sure, he had dropped that title a long time ago, but recently he felt like bringing it back. Paranormal investigator. 

He walked by Gir, who was watching the TV. IT would have been odd, that is if he hadn't had the background of him being a robot, he would have thought it odd that a dog was watching TV. Atleast he had a good taste in shows. Dib looked around the rooms before settling down at the table where the art supplies was. "Ok, your art," He paused picking up a pencil. "Clearly, you can't draw humans... Is there something you know you can draw?"

Zim sat in one of the kitchen chairs, resting his head on his head on his hand as he looked at Dib for a moment. He was silent as he thought of what he could draw. He drew a lot of blueprints and plans, but he would never show them too Dib. After all, all of that was classified information. He picked up his sketchbook that barely had anything in it and looked at the few pages. "I can draw shapes.." He said, noticing a reoccurring pattern in the few things he had drawn out already.

"You only draw shapes?" Dib sighed softly. "Actually, that's a start," He handed the pencil to Zim. "Draw whatever comes to mind,"

Zim rolled his eyes and grabbed the pencil, turning the page to a new blank one. He never really thought about what to draw before, but he didn't know if going with whatever came to mind would work a well. Zim went with it though, he put the pencil on the page and just started to sketch out rough shapes like usual. It was easier to him this time since he didn't have to draw a human. He ended up drawing some weird geometric design, that actually bled together nicely. All the odd shapes and patterns created an odd, but nice looking background. After a while, Zim set down his pencil and showed the page to Dib.

Dib picked up the page and looked it over. He sighed preparing himself for the compliment he was about to give his arch nemesis. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it’s actually really nice, It seems like you can only really draw abstract things though,” He set the paper down. “Which isn’t a bad thing, maybe you could expand on this,” Dib stood up. 

“Where is your restroom?” Though he didn’t actually need to go, he was going to see if he could do some discreet snooping.

"Abstract...? Hm, as long as this helps me graduate I guess I'll just go with it," Zim shrugged wondering if this is all he needed to do and if it was appropriate to kick Dib out of his house yet. Well he was thinking that until he asked where the bathroom was. Guess he was staying a while longer. Doing this some what no enemy thing was weird. Being nice to Dib was weird, he didn't trust Dib, but he couldn't deny him anything either. So he stood up and pointed a finger to down a long skinny hall.  
"It's in my room, the black door leads to the bathroom" He sighed, maybe he should've thought out his house a little bit better. the only bathroom in the house and you had to go through the bedroom first was sort of a bad idea thinking about it now.

“Thanks,” Dib walked off down the hall. It ended up working in his favor, because he wouldn’t have to be very sneaky if the bathroom was in his bedroom. He could just walk right in, snoop, and be back before it seemed suspicious. Once he walked through the bedroom door he began searching for any clues that might give him an idea of what he was looking for. He went through a few drawers before finding a hidden compartment underneath the whole dresser itself. ‘When did Zim get smart?’ He thought looking back to the door to see if anyone was coming, once he decided no one was he opened the compartment and pulled a file out. He went through it quickly, deeming some of it unimportant. He shoved those papers back in, it wouldn’t be a good idea to take all of it. The papers he kept he hid in his shirt, since he left his bag back in the kitchen. That wasn’t very smart of him. He walked back into the kitchen. 

Zim watched Dib go in his room before standing up from the table and collecting the art supplies he had put out earlier, shoving them back into his bag. As he was shoving everything back into his bag he thought about what else he could do for the day. He’d probably work on his plan after Dib left. When Dib walked out of his room he walked back into his room to set his school bag by his bed and made his way back to the kitchen table to see Dib. When Zim stepped out, Dib shoved the papers into his backpack, he’d study them when he got home.

"Well," Zim started, leaning against one of the dark purple chair that was pushed into the table. "It's been a fun time Dib thing. Honestly, we need to do it again. I think it's time you go though, I'm busy, and it's around dinner time for you humans. So go home and eat and I won't see you till art class." 

Zim's plan was to get Dib out of his house as soon as possible, well that was until Gir came in the kitchen and started making food. That wasn't rare for the robot to do, but then Gir started talking about how they should all have dinner together and to stop Gir from having another temper tantrum, Zim had to sadly agree to it.

After Dib managed to down a plate of frosted cheetos and waffles, with a side of Suck Monkey, that was completely melted and probably a month old, he felt really sick. The type of sick that would make you want to curl up and die. But, it was what Gir made for everyone. Although Dib found it absolutely revolting, he also found it funny that Zim thought that’s all humans consumed. Eventually he made his way home, he would be lucky if he made it there without puking.


End file.
